Big Time Alphabet
by God'sgirlforever
Summary: A look at different Big Time Rush relationships using letters of the alphabet and a matching song.
1. Big Time Letter A-Amazed (KendallJo)

**_For anyone who's read this before I'm reposting this because I added in some things based on Jo leaving and coming back. I don't own Big Time Rush or Lonestar._**

The song is_ Amazed_ by_ Lonestar_ and the chapter is Kendall and Jo

_Every time our eyes meet_

_This feeling inside me  
_

_Is almost more than I can take_

The song Amazed by Lonestar will always make Kendall Knight think of Jo Taylor. Every time he had looked into her eyes since they started dating, he remembered how much he cared for her. Some days it _was_ more than he could take. Kendall hated sounding corny, but he couldn't lie. Jo Taylor just made him feel that way.

_Baby when you touch me_

_I can feel how much you love me_

_And it just blows me away_

Jo Taylor would admit she sometimes sat and stared out the window while listening to this song. She says it's because she feels closer to Kendall then. She hated sounding corny as much as Kendall, but it was how she felt sometimes. Granted she hadn't felt that way at first, since she wanted to focus on her career; but when Kendall had caught her in her lie, it was then she finally caved. She finally realized what love felt like.

_I've never been this close to anyone, or anything  
_

_I can hear your thoughts, I can see your dreams_

Kendall had three best friends, so it was hard to say he's never been close to anyone or anything before. Jo also had close friends she could share dreams with. But it was different in this case, because it was with someone who both of them could imagine spending the rest of their life with; a person other than a close friend to spend their days with. Of course, when Jo moved to New Zealand, it was hard to imagine ending up together some day. Both were glad when Jo came back. Well, after Kendall stopped trying to hide and decided to try and work things out with Jo.

_I don't know how you do what you do_

_I'm so in love with you_

_It just keeps getting better  
_

_I want to spend the rest of my life,  
_

_with you by my side  
_

_Forever and ever  
_

_Every little thing that you do,  
_

_Baby I'm amazed by you_

The words of the song should say it all. Maybe it wasn't love yet, being as they are still young yet, but no one knows the future. Maybe it really was love. All Kendall and Jo knew was that they could spend hours wrapped up in each other's arms, just looking up at the stars. Every day they had spent together while Jo was in America meant another day spent being amazed by the other. Somehow it kept getting better and better, even in the times spent apart by busy schedules. Every day they spend together after she returned means another day getting back to normal. Every day means getting closer to being amazed once again.

_The smell of your skin,_

_The taste of your kiss,  
_

_The way you whisper in the dark.  
_

_Your hair all around me,  
_

_Baby you surround me  
_

_Touch every place in my heart  
_

_And it feels like the first time  
_

_Every time  
_

_I want to spend the whole night  
_

_In your eyes_

She had always loved the smell of his cologne. He liked the way her skin smelled like scented soap. He loved when her hair spread over the blanket when they went star-gazing. She was surprised the feelings never seemed to get old. They both agreed it touched something in some part of their hearts. Kendall missed that smile every day Jo was gone. Jo saw those bright green eyes watching her from street corners on her way to the movie set. Now that they were back together at the Palm Woods, they would spend every day finding their way back to being amazed by each other.


	2. Big Time Letter B-Boyfriend (CarlosJen)

**_I think people know that I am not the owner of Big Time Rush and if they don't they do now._**

_Your boy boy b-b-boy b-b-boy friend__  
__Your boy boy b-b-boy b-b-boy friend__  
__Your boy boy b-b-boy b-b-boy friend__  
__Your boy boy b-b-boy b-b-boy friend_

All Carlos wanted was one chance with the Jennifers. He just needed one chance to impress them and show that he could be the best boyfriend ever. One chance to prove that he was worth their time.

Everyone called him adorable. He may have been one of the oldest, but part of his adorable charm was that he acted more like the youngest. Didn't that count for something?

_Have you ever had the feeling you're drawn to someone?__  
__(Yeah)__  
__And it isn't anything they could have said or done__  
__(Said or done)__  
__And everyday I see you on your own__  
__And I can't believe that your alone__  
__But I overheard your girls and this is what they said_

Jennifer was always looking for someone in the top ten (or whatever ter ridiculous standard happened to be). Big Time Rush may not be in the top ten, but they were now famous, right? Kendall had Jo and Logan had Camille. Even James almost had a shot at Lucy. Why on earth couldn't Carlos have a shot with Jennifer? And he had always been drawn to them (all three of them, but one in particular), ever since the boys moved into the Palm Woods. It wasn't anything in particular she had done, other than walk past. Well, walk past, look pretty, and constantly refuse to date him. Although on the other hand, he had two chances, but one had failed. The other shot never really went anywhere after that one date. But was it too much to ask that he got one more shot with her?

_Looking for a__  
__Looking for a__  
__That your looking for a boyfriend__  
__I see that, give me time you know I'm gonna be that__  
__Don't be scared come put your trust in me__  
__Can't you see all I really want to be is your boyfriend__  
__Can't fight that knock me down you know I'm coming right back__  
__I don't care at all what you done before all I really want is to be your__  
__Your boy boy b-b-boy b-b-boy friend__  
__Your boy boy b-b-boy b-b-boy friend(your boyfriend)__  
__Your boy boy b-b-boy b-b-boy friend_

Was it too much to ask that Jennifer put a little trust in him? His date with her maybe could have gone better, but it was no disaster either. In fact, Jennifer said it was a good date (or the best night of her life, or something along those lines.) Carlos was a trustworthy guy. He was sweet, funny, and talented. Everyone loved Carlos. They all called him adorable, cute, crazy, and all around lovable. He thought he would be able to love Jennifer the way she should be loved. So shouldn't that count for something? She had no reason to be scared that he would run off with some other girl. Carlos was determined though. Every time she refused him or brushed him aside, he would come right back and ask her again and again, until he got his second shot.

_Let me take a little moment to find the right words__  
__(To find the right words)__  
__So when I kick it you it ain't something that you've heard__  
__(Something that you've heard)__  
__I don't know what kind of guy that you prefer__  
__But I know I gotta put myself forward__  
__See I think I've got the kind of love that you deserve and I heard that..._Everyone knew what kind of guy Jennifer preferred. Popular, handsome, talented, famous…  
Well, Carlos was all of those things. Well, three out of four anyway. People didn't seem to think he was handsome (although they did seem to like calling him cute. Cute was good, right?) But still, three out of four was good. A lot of people knew who he was and they all seemed to like him. He was in a band that had gone on a worldwide tour. If he wasn't talented, he wouldn't be in that band, now would he? And he was working on that last one. Big Time Rush was becoming famous around the world now. Carlos had told Jennifer many times by now how he felt (as if the thousands of times he had asked her out weren't enough.) So shouldn't Jennifer realize he was the one for her and he wouldn't give up until she knew that?

If you tell me where, I'm waiting here  
Everyday like slum dog millionaire  
Bigger then the Twilight love affair  
I'll be here girl I swear

Well, Carlos had decided that he just wasn't going anywhere until Jennifer knew just how serious he was. His love for her was real and much bigger than a stupid made-up vampire's would ever be (not that it was much of a stretch, seeing as Twilight was just a stupid fiction story but that's beside the point.) He was not going anywhere unless Jennifer was there. Carlos would wait for Jennifer until she realized how much he cared. He swore he would be there for her through good and bad times, so be there he would be. And there was no changing his mind, no matter how many times the Jennifers kept telling him to come back when he was famous.

**_Words from the author-Hope people like it. Review if you want. If you have a song or relationship you want to be used feel free to let me know and I might put it in._**


	3. Big Time Letter C-Come On Over (BTR)

_**The song is Come On Over by Shania Twain and the relationship is Kendall, Logan, James, and Carlos. Hope you like it.**_

_Get a life-get a grip  
Get away somewhere, take a trip_

_Take a break-take control  
Take advice from someone you know_

The boys of Big Time Rush had always been best friends. They would always be best friends. That's why Kendall could tell James to get a life other than looking in the mirror or hitting on girls. It's why Logan tells Carlos to get a grip on reality and stop acting so childish. It's why Kendall and Katie could tell Momma Knight to get away and take a trip to relax. Even Gustavo and Kelly listened to BTR sometimes.

The boys had promised to not be changed by Hollywood. But sometimes changes happen. That's why the boys had each other-to remind each other to take a break from the other guys and get away from everything. Logan knew he could take advice from James once in a while, because they knew the other boy. Logan knew when James was giving good advice and when to tell James to shut up because his advice was terrible.

_Come on over-come on in  
Pull up a seat-take a load off your feet  
Come on over-come on in  
You can unwind-take a load off your mind  
_

That was the motto for the boys. They had free access to the other houses at any time it was needed. Logan could come over to Kendall's house and unload at 4 in the morning if he was tired of his sister's sleepovers. He and Kendall would pull up chairs, eat ice cream (or whatever food they felt like eating that time), and take a load of each others' minds when they were sick of their sister's friends talking about how cute they were all the time. James could move into Logan's house for a week to unwind when his parents were going through their divorce. Carlos could pull up a chair at the dinner table any day of the week at the Knight or Mitchell house and would always be welcome.

_Make a wish-make a move  
Make up your mind-you can choose  
When you're up-when you're down  
When you need a laugh come around  
_

The boys were always there to encourage each other to make a move when they were too scared to. They were there to make each other laugh when no one else could and remind the others that they could choose.

They also had certain rolls they played in their group. Logan was always there to help the other three boys make up their minds. Carlos was there to make them laugh. James was there to make them look good and remind everyone to make a wish. Kendall was there to make the moves for the group and help the other three choose. But because they were best friends, they were always there for the other members of the group, to help them make the right move or to share a laugh with them.

_Be a winner-be a star  
Be happy to be who you are  
Gotta be yourself-gotta make a plan  
Gotta go for it while you can  
_

The boys wanted to be stars. Well, at first that was mostly James' dream, but eventually Kendall caught on to that dream and helped make them all stars. But most of all, the boys were happy to be who they were-as in being 4 hockey players from Minnesota. They came up with a plan to remember that. In that plan, they included ways to be themselves, but also ways to be stars. On the plane ride from Minnesota, they reminded each other to go for it but to still be happy with who they were and always have a plan to remember it.

_Get a life-get a grip_  
_Get away somewhere, take a trip_  
_Take a break-take control_  
_Take advice from someone you know_

The boys of Big Time Rush are always there for each other. They will always remind each other when to get a life or when to get a grip. They have always told each other when to take a break and get away or when they needed to get control. The boys only take advice from each other, because they are best friends and will be best friends for life.


	4. Big Time Letter D-Do I? (CamilleLogan)

_**The song is Do I by Luke Bryan and the relationship is Camille and Logan. I don't own any characters, songs, or lyrics. Enjoy!**  
_

_Baby, What are we becomin'  
It feels just like we're always runnin'  
Rollin' through the motions every day_

Logan sometimes felt like Camille just pretended to love him. Some days when he came back from the studio, she didn't seem to want to be there. It was almost as if she was just showing up for appearance's sake. Of course, she was a good actress, so it wasn't a far stretch. But it would be nice to know that she didn't run up to him just because she felt like she had to.

On the other hand, Logan often felt like he was just going through the motions when he got back from concerts. When he got back to the Palm Woods, he didn't always feel like running right to Camille's room. Most days he just felt sleeping or hanging with the boys by the pool-that is, if they didn't all feel like killing each other.

_I could lean in to hold you  
Or act like I don't even know you  
Seems like you could care less either way  
_

The times they were off again were the worst. He could be all mushy and hanging all over her and it bothered her, but then he'd back off and she would get mad at him. Then there was all the times she just didn't care if he was there or not. Honestly Logan was sometimes sure Camille only liked making up because she liked the breaking up. I mean, she practiced her slapping and breaking up all the time. And half the time, Logan would act like he didn't know her in public to protect her from all the media hype about BTR relationships, and she wouldn't even care that he did it.

_What happened to that girl I used to know  
I just want us back to the way we were before  
_

When Logan bothered to stop and really think about it, he would think about how much he really liked Camille when they first met. He really liked when she did the chasing and he just went with it. If he had to pinpoint the change in their relationship, it was when they returned from their first world tour. That was when she started wanted him to make the first move. Logan just wasn't the kind of man to chase a girl unless he really wanted her. He had really wanted Camille at first, but time changes people and he had certainly changed since coming to Hollywood. Camille had changed in some ways. Sadly, Logan thought those changes had been the worst. They were the changes that changed their relationship the most.

_Do I, Turn you on at all when I kiss you baby  
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy_

Camille usually kissed him first. Logan didn't mind. But lately when _he_kissed her, she didn't seem to respond much. He secretly thought Camille wanted to date Jett, but never had enough courage to ask. What he really wanted to know was if his kisses had any effect on Camille or if it was all another act for her. Forget_ him_ driving _her_ crazy, Camille drove _him _to the edge playing with his emotions like that!

_Do I, Have your love  
Am I still enough_

_Tell me don't I, Or tell me do I baby  
Give you everything that you ever wanted  
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely  
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life  
Baby, Do I  
_

All Logan wanted to know was if Camille liked him at all or if he wasn't enough. He would understand if she wanted to be with Jett. After all, Jett and Camille worked together all the time on commercials and things. All Camille and Logan got to do together during work was _her_ listening to _his_ songs being played on _her_ shows. But it would be nice to know if he had Camille's love or just hearing his voice wasn't enough for her. Was it too much to ask that she would tell him "I want you" or "You don't give me what I want and what I need"? The way she was acting, it was. She didn't seem to care; almost as if she would rather just walk away and leave him there feeling lonely. Maybe he needed to give up on their on-again/off-again relationship and walk away. That's what the rest of BTR was saying.

_Remember when we didn't have nothin'  
But a perfect, simple kind of lovin'  
Baby, Those sure were the days  
There was a time our love ran wild and free  
Now I'm second guessing everything I see  
_

Camille could remember when she and Logan had first met. Their relationship had been pretty much picture perfect. The cute boy in the band, the pretty girl acting in his music videos. It was perfect and simple. Those were the days for sure. Why couldn't time go back to the way it had been? It was nice and simple; neither of them was very famous, so there was no one to chase them asking for autographs or wanting to kiss Logan or anything like that. They were free to be totally and wildly in love as much as they wanted. But now she had to wonder if he had met someone else on a tour or if there was another girl to sing duets with. She was tired of second-guessing if he cared or not. She hated making him make the first move. She didn't want to question his commitment just because she always made the first move.

_Do I, Turn you on at all when I kiss you baby  
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy  
Do I, Have your love  
Am I still enough  
Tell me don't I, Or tell me do I baby  
Give you everything that you ever wanted  
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely  
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life  
_

He wanted to know if his kisses were enough. She wondered the same thing. Did her kiss make him happy? Did it drive him crazy that she wanted to be with him all the time? She wondered if he wanted her love at all. Was her love enough for him, or did he need love from another girl? Couldn't he tell her if she was enough or at the very least tell her if she needed to move on with her life and date Jett like he wanted to? It was starting to drive her crazy that she didn't know if he would walk away from her and leave her alone while he went out with another girl and made her as happy as he had once made her.

_Baby, Do I  
Still give you what you need  
Still take your breath away  
Light up a spark way down deep  
Baby, Do I  
_

They both wondered if they gave each other what the other wanted and took the other's breath away. Neither would admit it, but they were very lonely without the other there lighting up a spark deep down inside. They both kept wondering if the other felt that spark or if it had gone away, never to return.

_Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby  
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy  
Do I have your love  
Am I still enough  
Tell me don't I or tell me do I baby  
Give you everything that you ever wanted  
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely  
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life_

Tell me baby, Do I get one more try  
Do I

Baby, Do I

In the end, Logan had realized that he didn't feel any different when Camille kissed him. Camille, for her part, hadn't felt like she had any love coming from Logan because his mind was always on some other girl or with his band. They both agreed that they just didn't have each other's love anymore. It was just time to move on with life. Maybe some day they could give it one more try. But not right now. It was just too hard right now. Maybe someday soon, they would be in that love again. For now, it was time to move on.


	5. Big Time Letter E-Every Time We Touch

**_The song is Every Time We Touch By Cascade and the relationship is Tyler and Katie. I don't own either the song or the characters._**

_I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me_

_I still feel your touch in my dreams_

Katie Knight was in a secret relationship with Tyler Duncan. She had kept it secret because it had long been thought Katie liked James. Katie never told anyone that the first time she saw Tyler Duncan, she was in love. Even though he had moved away from the Palm Woods, she could still hear his voice in her sleep. Sometimes she dreamed of his touch while she slept. Most of all, she dreamed about the time when she could see him again.

_Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why_

_Without you it's hard to survive  
_

No one knew it, but aside from her big brother and his friends, Katie's biggest weakness was Tyler. She didn't have any idea why. She didn't even know how she had fallen in love with him. But it was getting harder to survive without him there. Every day was another struggle to get through, not knowing when she would get to see him again. Some days it was so hard to survive, she almost couldn't get out of bed and Katie still had no idea why she cared so much. No one knew it, but most of Katie's schemes and plots (aside from school-related ones) were to keep her mind off of Tyler. It was her way of surviving without him.

_'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling_

_And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly_

Tyler didn't kiss Katie much, because both of them thought it was a little weird; and neither of them had wanted their relationship to be just another Hollywood kind of romance. You know; boy meets girl; they ''fall in love'' and date; and then as soon as one of them moves away, they break up because of distance. But the few times they had kissed, both had said they almost felt like they could fly. Of course, afterwards they both said it was really cheesy, but on the other hand, it was how they felt. Tyler had even told Katie a few times he got a feeling every time they touched. He couldn't explain this feeling, but it was there. Secretly, Katie felt the same way. There was an unexplainable feeling she got every time she felt Tyler's hand touch hers or whenever Tyler leaned in to kiss her.

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast?_

_I want this to last_

_I need you by my side_

She wondered if he could feel her heart beating faster when he looked into her eyes. He wondered if she knew he needed her at his side every day when he walked into school. They both wanted this relationship to last. They wondered if they were crazy for trying a long distance relationship. Most of the time they didn't last; so why were they trying it? But they both wanted to last as long as possible; they both agreed they needed each other by their sides to keep living. In the end, it was agreed that it may be crazy to have a long distance relationship; but it would be much crazier not to at least try it.

_'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static_

_And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky_

Tyler felt static in the air whenever they hugged. Katie reached for the sky and beyond the few times they had kissed. The distance was good for both of them; the way the relationship had been going, they wouldn't have been able to stop if they kissed one more time. The static in the air was so high, they both felt it.

_Can't you hear my heart beat so?_

_I can't let you go_

_I want you in my life  
_

Katie often wondered if Tyler heard her heart beating so crazily. She would ask him all the time. Tyler always said he could and would ask her the same question. She always said yes as well. Neither of them could let go when it was time to leave. Katie sometimes couldn't imagine not having Tyler in her life. Tyler wanted Katie to stay in his life forever. He never wanted to let her go again. He could stay lying next to her forever.

_Your arms are my castle; your heart is my sky_

_They wipe away tears that I cry_

_The good and the bad times, we've been through them all_

_You make me rise when I fall  
_

Tyler's arms were Katie's castle. She felt the most special in his arms. When she flew, it was into his arms. His arms wiped away the tears she cried when they had to leave again. For Tyler's part, he loved the feeling of Katie's arms around him, holding him tight. He also flew right back into her arms whenever they visited each other. They had vowed to remain together through the good and the bad times. It was easy so far, seeing as the only bad times were leaving each other's arms. But they had so many good times together already; Katie helping Tyler hide from his mom; Tyler helping Katie run lines for commercials; playing games in the park after dark. Katie always told Tyler he was the only one who could make her rise when she felt low. Tyler always told Katie she could make him smile on a bad day just by looking at him.

_'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling_

_And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly_

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast?_

_I want this to last_

_I need you by my side_

She got a special feeling whenever they touched; he thought he could fly because of every kiss they shared. Their hearts beat faster in perfect rhythm when they looked at each other. Neither of them wanted their time together to end, because Katie Knight and Tyler Duncan needed each other by their sides to live.

_**Words from the author-I personally don't think Katie would ever like James or date Tyler, I just went with it because I wanted to get this chapter going.**_


	6. Big Time Letter F-First Cut-LucyKendall

**_The song is First Cut is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow and the relationship is Lucy and Kendall. This relationship is kind of different because I mostly used one character instead of two, but it's how I think Lucy would feel a couple months after Big Time Decision. I don't own the song or Lucy and Kendall. I would say I own the character Jamie, but he's just a name to use so I don't own that either._**

**_Thanks to anyone who's reviewed this. It makes my day!_**

_I would have given you all of my heart__  
__But there's someone who's torn it apart_

Lucy had met someone after Kendall. She thought she was starting to really like him. He had said many times already that he liked her. But she couldn't date him. She kept saying she wasn't ready. When he asked, Lucy just said she would give her heart to him, but there was another guy she was still getting over. Her heart just wasn't ready to commit to another guy just yet. Kendall had broken her heart pretty bad and she wouldn't be ready to date for a long time.

_And he's taking just all that I had  
But if you wanna try to love again  
Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know  
_

Lucy kept telling Jamie that Kendall had taken all she had to offer someone emotionally, but that if he really wanted, she would try to be ready to date again. It would be hard, but she could try and move on; she would try her hardest to move on, but she knew it would be hard. It may even be the hardest thing she's ever done.

_The first cut is the deepest, baby; I know__  
__The first cut is the deepest_

The first boy you really care about is always the hardest to get over. They're the ones who cut you the deepest, because you care so much. Kendall may not have been her first crush, but he was the most serious. Kendall was the one she had cared about most. Lucy did have a history with Beau that had been semi-serious. That didn't hurt nearly as much though, seeing as he ended up being a cheater. It still hurt, but not as much. Kendall had hurt her the most because he had really cared about her. Lucy had really cared about him too. He had shown her what Beau really was; he wasn't going to fight for her when Beau came but had jumped in when she was going to be hurt.

_But when it comes to being lucky, he's cursed  
When it comes to lovin' me, he's worst  
_

That's why Lucy wasn't ready to commit to Jamie. When it came to being luckily in love, Kendall was the winner. He always had girls. But when it came to Lucy, Kendall was the worst because he would have Lucy's heart for a long time.

_I still want you by my side__  
__Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried_

Even though their dating relationship had been short (as it was less than a day), Lucy still wanted Kendall by her side. Lucy wanted Kendall to dry the tears she was crying right now. It was ironic though, since he was the one causing the tears. But she was trying her hardest to move on. She was ready to stop crying herself to sleep at night because Kendall had chosen his ex-girlfriend over her. She was just plain ready to move on with her life and date someone new.

_But I'm sure gonna give you a try  
And if you wanna try to love again  
Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know_

So Lucy had decided to give Jamie a try. Of course, she wanted to go slowly; just to make sure she was really ready. But Lucy was sure ready to learn to love again. She was ready to at least try being in a relationship with a boy very much like Kendall. She knew it wasn't going to be easy. It was easy to move on after Beau, but that was a different story. Kendall was harder to get over, but Lucy was going to try.

_The first cut is the deepest, baby; I know  
The first cut is the deepest  
But when it comes to being lucky, he's cursed  
When it comes to lovin' me, he's worst  
_

When she moved into the Palm Woods, Lucy had no plans to meet someone, much less fall for them. Of course, that was before Big Time Rush had happened. That was before Kendall had challenged her about saying BTR didn't rock. It was before Kendall happened period. So Lucy wasn't expecting it to be easy to move on, but she never realized it would be this hard.

_I still want you by my side__  
__Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried__  
__But I'm sure gonna give you a try__  
__'Cause if you wanna try to love again__  
__Baby, I'll try to love again, but I know_She didn't know why she still thought of Kendall. Lucy was sure he was too busy trying to win Jo back that he never thought of Lucy. But Lucy Stone was a strong girl; and despite wanting the boy who broke her heart to dry her tears, she was ready to keep living her life and try to love her new man. It would be hard, but Lucy Leah Stone was ready to move on with her life and try loving again.

_The first cut is the deepest, baby, I know  
The first cut is the deepest  
(Try to love again)_

The first heartbreak may be the worst. It may cut you the deepest. He may not love you back; he may love you but love someone else more. The first cut you get will hurt the most. It will hurt the most. But Lucy will try to love again.


	7. Big Time Letter G-Graduation Song

_**The song is Graduation Song by Vitamin C and the relationship is Kelly and Gustavo.**  
_

_**I don't own songs or characters.**_

_And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives  
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25  
I keep thinking times will never change  
Keep on thinking things will always be the same_

Kelly could hardly believe it had been so many years since she had Gustavo had graduated high school together. It was something they had never told the dogs, but Kelly and Gustavo had gone to the same high school and lived in the same town. But it was true; the great Gustavo Rocque had gone to school with his assistant Kelly Wainwright. They had a few classes together in their first year. Kelly could still remember the two of them sitting around at lunch talking about life after college. They had made so many plans they wanted to do by age 25. Kelly had sometimes thought those times would never change. She had thought everything would be the same; at 25, she ad Gustavo would still be sitting around talking about what they wanted to do 10 years from now.

_But when we leave this year we won't be coming back  
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track  
And if you got something that you need to say  
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day_

But the year they had spent the most time together was in senior year, and after that year there had no been going back. They didn't have as much time during exams, and then it had been graduation and moving out and other things that happen in a high school graduate's life. Their lives had gone on different tracks for a few years after college, but thankfully they ended up working together again. Gustavo had majored in music and Kelly was in business management, so Gustavo and Kelly ended up at different colleges. But that last day had been hard. Kelly had lots of friends, but Gustavo was her best friend and she didn't want to lose him after high school. She almost didn't tell him how much his friendship had meant to her in freshman year.

_Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down  
These memories are playing like a film without sound  
And I keep thinking of the night in June  
I Didn't know much of love, but it came too soon  
And There was me and you, and then it got real blue  
Stay at home talkin' on the telephone and  
We would get so excited, we'd get so scared  
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair  
And this is how it feels_

But life moved on and no one on earth could slow it down, so Kelly had swallowed her pride and told Gustavo. They had spent one more night going through memories and making their own memory book. They had agreed to look through it at least once a year and think about the night in June when they made it. Neither had thought their friendship was anything more than friendship; some people said it was, but love had come too soon for them. That was why most of the time it was just them. Thankfully though, they stayed friends and they continued to talk on the phone regularly. They would get excited when good things happened and scared when things were uncertain. They would still spend whole days laughing at themselves and talking about how it felt to be working together and how life wasn't fair and things like that._As we go on, we remember__  
__All the times we had together__  
__And as our lives change, from whatever__  
__We will still be, friends forever__  
_

And so the times went on and Kelly took one day a month to remember the fun times she had with Gustavo. Even when life changed, whatever the change may have been, she was glad she was still friends with Gustavo. She was glad that they had made a pact to be friends forever and not let the business industry in Hollywood change anything.

_So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money  
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?  
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?  
Still be trying to break every single rule_

Gustavo never wanted his dogs to find out he had gone to school with Kelly. But sometimes while they waited for the dogs, the two best friends would look back and remember old times from high school. They wanted to see if they got big jobs and made big amounts of money they would still laugh about old high school jokes they had. Kelly had made it a kind of contest to see who could remember the most from high school. She also kept track of how many rules Gustavo broke. Gustavo would sometimes laugh at how he-the high school rule breaker-had ended up with a best friend like Kelly-the goody-two shoes that got him out of trouble. That was the other thing they liked to laugh at-the fact that polar opposites were such good friends. Kelly especially liked to laugh at the fact that they still had the same roles as in high school.

_Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?  
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?  
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye  
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly  
And this is how it feels_

Those days when Kelly and Gustavo pulled out their yearbooks, they liked to see if their predictions about people were right. Kelly had predicted that the class brain would be a stockbroker. She was right about that. Gustavo thought the most popular cheerleader in their year would find a job that involved lots of sun tanning time. He was right about her. They both thought they would never lose contact with their other friends from high school. They were wrong. Their last goodbyes with some of their friends had been on graduation day. It was their day to fly though. Kelly had flown off to business school and Gustavo to music school. It felt sad sometimes that they had lost contact. Gustavo would never admit it, but he was glad he still got to see Kelly every day at least.

_As we go on, we remember  
All the times we had together  
And as our lives change, from whatever  
We will still be, friends forever_

Gustavo could never forget the times he spent in class and outside of school with Kelly, even when life went on. He was glad that even though their lives changed, they would be friends forever. He was glad that Kelly would always remember those times too.

_Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?  
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?  
I guess I thought that this would never end  
And suddenly it's like we're women and men_

As is typical for high school students, Kelly and Gustavo thought high school would never end. Too suddenly for them, they were all grown up and working in Hollywood. They had often wondered if they could survive it out in the real world or if they could make it in such a competitive business. But they made it through together, and still sometimes thought about tomorrow like they had in high school.

_Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?  
Will these memories fade when I leave this town  
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye  
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly  
_

The past followed them around all the time, but only because they saw each other all the time. But the good news was it meant their memories didn't fade when they left town for the exact same reason. Since neither of them had thought high school would be goodbye for them, they were both happy it was a time for them to fly together. They were happy that they got to see their best friend every day at work; because it meant that they would keep their high school pact and be friends forever.

_**I can't see Kelly and Gustavo dating but I really wanted to do a friendship song for them, so this is it. Hope you liked it.**_


	8. Big Time Letter H-How Did We Get

_**The song is How Did We Get from Saying I Love You by Great Big Sea and the relationship is Kendall and Lucy. I did a chapter from Lucy's point of view after Big Time Decision and this is Kendall's point of view. Hope you like it.**  
_

_'It __was a cold day for September',_

_was all I thought to say  
When I saw you on the street the other day_

The first time Kendall saw Lucy after he chose Jo, he thought it was a little weird. No, forget that. It was sad and weird and awkward. So it made sense that the only thing he could think of to say was comment about the weather. Every time he saw her in the street after that, he tried to avoid eye contact so he wouldn't have to see the sadness in her eyes. When he did look in her eyes, it almost broke his heart. So he would just give her a nod. She would do the same back, acknowledging the fact that he had no words to say how sorry he was.

_Something's changed between us,__  
__all the talk we made was small_

It seemed weird now. Lucy had been a good friend, and had kept his secrets when he asked. She would help him out when he needed it. Kendall would have even done the same for her at one point. And yet now in the streets they only made small talk. And that was when they did talk. As much as Kendall liked Jo, it still tore his heart apart when he saw Lucy. It broke his heart to see her red eyes at the studio. It just wasn't right.

_What do you say to someone when they've heard you say it all?  
It's an awkward conversation,  
in a most peculiar way...  
_

It may not have been right, but what could he do? What do you say to someone whose heart you just broke? It's an awkward conversation for sure. It was s very peculiar and awkward conversation for sure. But how do you go from kissing in an elevator to "I'm sorry, I pick the other girl?"

_How did we get from saying 'I love you'  
to 'I'll see you around someday'_

_How did we get from saying 'I love you'_

_To 'I'll see you around someday'_

How on earth had he gone from wanting to ask her out to just nodding at her in the streets? Kendall had no idea how it had happened. He found it sadly strange that the same day he said he would be confused if Jo came back, she did come back. Kendall only hoped he could figure out how he had gone from saying he loved Lucy to saying he would see her in the street someday.

_Seems like only days ago, we had so much to say  
Did we take it all for granted,  
then it all gets thrown away_

Was really only weeks ago that he had so much to say to Lucy? Only weeks ago that he had kissed her? It felt so long ago some days. Then other days when he thought he was over it, it hit him hard. Lucy was really gone. She was gone and wouldn't come back. Kendall supposed that somehow they would find their way back to some kind of friendship, but how long would that take? Had he taken their friendship for granted? Had he thrown away the chance to have a real relationship too soon? Some days he wondered if he would ever really know.

_'It calls for rain this afternoon', you finally replied  
There was a stuttering silence,  
that I felt my mouth go dry  
So we'll talk about the weather,  
cause there's not much else to say..._

It had taken Lucy a while, but she finally was able to reply to Kendall's comments about the weather. Usually there was just a blaring silence as they stood there feeling awkward. Kendall often felt his mouth go dry. Lucy had to blink several times to keep tears from falling. It was better now, but they usually just talked about the weather. It felt like there wasn't much left to say other than sorry. What was there left to say? Kendall had made his choice and would have to stick with it.

_How did we get from saying 'I love you'  
to 'I'll see you around someday'_

_How did we get from saying 'I love you'_

_To 'I'll see you around someday'_

Lucy wondered what had happened between them that they could only talk about the weather. Sure, they had a brief relationship, but didn't that mean there was less heartbreak? Apparently it wasn't true in this case. She still didn't understand how they only said "I'll see you around" anymore. She was just glad she didn't have to see him at the studio all the time.

_Has all the ice been broken,  
all our surfaces been scratched  
Have all our words been broken,  
have we finally met our match_

_It's an awkward conversation,  
in a most peculiar way..._

Kendall usually never felt awkward around someone. It wasn't like anyone had really tried before. But he had met his match in Lucy. It felt like the ice between them would never be broken now. They would only ever scratch the surface of things now. Don't get me wrong, Kendall was glad he had picked Jo. He liked her; he really did. But some days he felt so bad about breaking Lucy's heart that it almost broke his. And the days he felt like that and passed Lucy in the street, it just felt so awkward in a very weird way.

_How did we get from saying 'I love you'  
to 'I'll see you around someday'_

_How did we get from saying 'I love you'_

_To 'I'll see you around someday'_

_How did we get from saying 'I love you'_

_To 'I'll see you around some day'_

Kendall could only hope that one day Lucy would see how sorry he was for breaking her heart. He only hoped he would stop feeling so bad about it. They both hoped one day they would understand how people could go from saying "I love you" one day to "I'll see you around some day."


	9. Big Time Letter I-I Never Told You

**_This is another Kendall/Jo chapter. It's kind of based on Big Time Breakup but after the fight in the restaurant they don't make up. The song is I Never Told You by Colbie Caillet._**

_I miss those blue eyes  
How you kissed me at night  
I miss the way we sleep_

Kendall missed looking into Jo's blue eyes every day. He missed going to the Palm Woods Park with her on sunny days and having picnics. He missed kissing her goodnight and her goodbye kisses. He missed watching her sleep in the afternoon sun; spending long evenings watching sunset and accidentally falling asleep in each other's arms. Why did she have to move to New Zealand?

_Like there's no sunrise  
Like the taste of your smile  
I miss the way we breathe  
_

It felt like there were no sunrises any more now that he couldn't see Jo's pretty smile. Kendall had always wanted to take Jo to see a Hollywood sunrise. It wasn't the same calling her at bedtime and watching it together over the phone. It wasn't the same seeing her smile over the phone either. Hearing her breathing wasn't the same either. He couldn't feel her breathing in and out; couldn't see her chest rising and falling with each breath. He couldn't see her smile in her sleep and wonder what she was dreaming about.

_But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No I never told you  
I just held it in_

Kendall sometimes regretted not telling Jo how he really felt before she left. He had wanted to tell her he loved her; wanted to tell her he was ready to marry her. Of course, if she wasn't ready he would wait. He would wait for as long as she wanted. But Kendall just wanted to marry her. Being the stubborn guy he was though, he refused. He had been too scared that she would reject him; too scared that after the mad rush to the airport, she would turn him down flat. He also had fears that Jo would meet some New Zealand guy and fall in love with him. Then he would have spent all that time for nothing. Now it looked like he had held it in for nothing.

_And now I miss everything  
About you  
I can't believe I still want you_

He couldn't believe he still missed Jo after their big fight. It was hard to believe that he missed her more every day. He thought after their fight in the restaurant she would be so mad she would never look back. Why did he have to miss her so much?

_After all the things we've  
Been through  
I miss everything about you  
Without you_

After all the fights; all the lies; after all it took to win her over only to lose her so fast, Kendall still missed her. If he was asked what he missed the most, it would be hard to answer. Usually he just said her eyes or her smile, because he did miss both of those things. But in reality he missed everything about her. Her smile; her laughter; watching her work out; seeing her act on the set of New Town High.

_I see your blue eyes  
Every time I close mine  
You make it hard to see  
Where I belong to when I'm not  
Around you  
It's like I'm not with me_

At night when Kendall closed his eyes to sleep, he saw Jo's eyes. Most of the time, he saw the way she looked the first time she had walked past him. He still remembered her face as she looked around the pool and had waved at him and the boys. He always saw her face at random times. He would be dancing and her face would flash before his eyes. The first month, it was hard to remember who he was without Jo there. It was almost like he wasn't a person anymore because Jo wasn't there to complete him.

_But I never told you  
What I should have said  
No I never told you  
I just held it in_

Kendall really wished that he could see Jo in person just one more time. He would give anything to see her just one more time and tell her what he should have said months ago. He would hold her close and say he loved her. He would get down on one knee and ask her to spend the rest of her life with him.

_And now I miss everything  
About you  
I can't believe I still want  
You  
After all the things we've  
Been through  
I miss everything about you  
Without you_

Kendall wondered if the feeling would ever go away or if he would have to live with it for the rest of his life. He couldn't believe the feeling of missing Jo was still there. He was almost tempted to fly to Jo and tell her how he felt. Kendall only hoped he would get the chance one day to tell Jo how he felt in person. If he did, he would hold on to her forever and never let her go again.


	10. Big Time Letter J-Just A Dream-BeauLucy

**_The song is Just a Dream by Nelly and the relationship is Beau and Lucy._**

_I was thinking bout her, thinkin bout me  
Thinkin bout us, what we gon' be  
Open my eyes yeah, it was only just a dream_

Beau had been thinking about Lucy. He had been thinking about how Lucy may have been the best thing to happen to him. He had also been thinking about the two of them and what they could have been. But when he opened his eyes, he realized it had all been a dream. There was no Lucy. There was no Lucy and Beau. It was just him dreaming.

_So I travelled back, down that road  
Will she come back, no one knows  
I realize yeah, it was only just a dream  
_

So Beau had travelled back down the road of his relationship with Lucy to see where he had gone wrong. He had tried writing to Lucy to see if there was any way she would take him back. He still hadn't heard back from her. He was starting to realize getting back together with Lucy was just a dream and nothing else.

_I was at the top and now its like I'm in the basement  
Number one spot and now she find her a replacement  
I swear now I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby_

Beau used to hold the number 1 spot in Lucy's heart. Now, because of his mistakes, he didn't even have a place in her life. She had found herself a replacement in Kendall. It was hard to take some days, knowing that Lucy was with someone else. The ironic thing was that she was with Kendall. Kendall had wanted to get rid of him and now Kendall had his wish. Beau was gone, so it was a straight path to Lucy. Why had he made so many mistakes? Why hadn't he been happy enough with Lucy?

_And now you ain't around baby I can't think  
I should've put it down, should've got the ring  
Cause I can still feel it in the air  
See her pretty face run my fingers through her hair_

The first weeks it was hard to think. It was hard to go on without Lucy around. Sure, they had broken up when she had gone all Hollywood on him, but he understood. Lucy needed space to work on her music and besides, long distance relationships usually didn't work out. But Beau had this big plan to go to Hollywood so they could be together again. He had even bought that necklace. Maybe a ring was the way to go. But since he didn't, he was here along. Beau could still her face. It felt so real sometimes he felt as if he could run his fingers in her hair and lean in to kiss her. He could feel the love in the air at those times.

_My lover, my life, my shawty, my wife  
She left me, I'm tied  
Cause I knew that it just ain't right_

Lucy had been his first love; she had been his life. But now that she was gone, Beau knew that things just weren't right. Things wouldn't be right again until he could talk to Lucy and explain things to her; apologize to her.

When I be ridin' man I swear I see her face at every turn  
Tryna get my Usher on but I can't let it Burn  
And I just hopes she know that she the only one I yearn for  
More and more I miss her, when will I learn

Beau would admit he was something of a player. He had tried to get back into that groove to get over Lucy, but he just couldn't do it. Every time he went to kiss another girl, all he saw was Lucy. He could only see her disappointment. Sometimes he could almost forget about her. Most of the time, he just hoped Lucy knew how much he wanted her back. Part of why they broke up was the long distance. A lot of it though was his playboy ways. When would he ever learn?

_Didn't give her all my love, I guess now I got my payback  
Now I'm in the club thinking all about my baby  
Hey, she was so easy to love  
But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough_

Beau never gave Lucy enough of his love. That had to be why she wouldn't take him back. That's why he was still sitting here thinking about her, about how to get her back. Lucy was easy enough to love. She was smart. She was pretty. She liked taking risks. And she was a talented musician. But it looked like love hadn't been enough. He needed the commitment Lucy deserved. The commitment Beau couldn't give her.

_I'm going through it everytime that I'm alone  
And now I'm missing, wishing she'd pick up the phone  
But she made the decision that she wanted to move on  
Cause I was wrong  
_

When he was alone at night, Beau went through it in his head. He went through everything he had done wrong. He felt so bad about it now. He wished Lucy would pick up the phone and talk about it with him. But she wanted to move on. Beau didn't blame her. He would want to do the same. But he had been wrong. He wished Lucy could get over it.

_If you ever loved somebody put your hands up  
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up  
And now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything_

Beau had really loved Lucy at one point. She was everything he wanted in a girl. But somehow, at some point, something had happened. Beau couldn't say exactly what it was or when it had changed. But it had. Now that Lucy was gone, he was starting to wish he could give her everything she deserved. He wished he could travel back in time and figure out what had changed.

_Said if you ever loved somebody put your hands up  
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up  
Now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything_

Yes, Beau still loved Lucy. It would take a while to get over it and maybe he never would. But for now, he would keep wishing Lucy was still here and that he could give her everything she deserved in a boyfriend.

I was thinking bout her, thinkin bout me  
Thinkin bout us, what we gon' be  
Open my eyes yeah, it was only Just A Dream  
So I travelled back, down that road  
Will she come back, no one knows  
I realize yeah, it was only Just A Dream

Beau kept seeing Lucy in his dreams. He kept thinking about her and what they were going to be. He would keep going down that road of what ifs. Keep wondering if she would ever come back. No one could say, but maybe one day it could happen. For now, he would wake up in the morning and realize Lucy being in his arms was just a dream.


	11. Big Time Letter K-King of Anything

**_The song is King of Anything by Sara Bareilles and the relationship is Katie and James. I don't own either._**

_Keep drinkin' coffee  
Stare me down across the table  
While I look outside  
_

Katie hated it when James tried to offer her advice over the breakfast table. Back in Minnesota she would just stare out the window as James talked at her. He would drink his orange juice or eat cereal or whatever was for breakfast and tell her what to do about a boy or why she shouldn't listen to that song.

_So many things I'd say if only I were able  
But I just keep quiet  
And count the cars that pass by  
_

When that happened, Katie really wanted to tell James to shut up. But she couldn't. In Minnesota Kendall and the rest of his friends were usually there so she never had the chance. So she came up with a plan. She would pretend to listen while she secretly counted cars that went by. If she got to 100 before James finished, she would get a reward. Usually the reward involved weaselling money out of Kendall or making him buy her candy or whatever she happened to want that day.

_You've got opinions, man  
We're all entitled to 'em  
But I never asked  
_

Katie didn't mind that James had his opinions. He was entitled to think what he wanted. But Katie didn't want to hear them. She didn't ask what he thought most of the time, and when she did want his opinion, he was too busy to talk to her. It was very annoying. The worst part was not being able to tell him to shut up while Kendall was there. When he was gone, Katie felt more than free to tell James what she thought of his opinions (and they weren't very nice.)

_So let me thank you for time  
And try to not waste any more of mine  
Get out of here fast  
_

Katie bailed breakfast as fast as she could most days just to get away from James and his loud mouth. She wanted to waste as little time as possible listening to the sound of James talking while his friends were doing nothing to stop him. Thanks but no thanks. She could think of a million better ways to waste her time.

_I hate to break it to you babe  
But I'm not drowning  
There's no one here to save  
_

Katie wasn't sure how to break it to James that she didn't care. She didn't need him to do anything for her. Half the time Katie was sure her brother didn't even listen to James babbling about nothing. There was no one that needed saving by James Diamond and he would never figure that out.

_Who cares if you disagree  
You are not me  
Who made you king of anything  
So you dare tell me who to be  
Who died  
And made you king of anything_

Who really cared if James disagreed? James was not Katie Knight and he never would be. Who had died and made him king of the Knight house? To make matters worse, some days he dared to try telling Katie how to act. He dared to take the place of her father. Don't misunderstand her here; Katie loved James like a brother. Most days she knew he meant well. But her brother's best friend couldn't take the place of her dad. Kendall tried to do that when he felt Katie needed a father. One dad was enough. One older brother trying to be both a brother and father was plenty. Katie didn't need two of them. No one had died just so James could be king.

_You sound so innocent  
All full of good intent  
You swear you know best  
_

The worst part was that James sounded so innocent when he gave Katie unwanted advice. He claimed he knew best and only had good intentions. After all, he was just looking out for his best friend's little sister. She was practically his sister too.

_But you expect me to  
Jump up on board with you  
Ride off into your delusional sunset  
_

He really expected her to jump on board with him about this whole "I'm almost family because we live together so you should listen to me" thing? If he really thought that, James Diamond was delusional. He had taken more than one too many pucks to the head if he wanted Katie to listen to every stupid opinion he had.

_I'm not the one who's lost  
With no direction oh  
But you won't ever see  
You're so busy makin' maps  
With my name on them in all caps  
You got the talkin' down just not the listening_

James would never see that Katie wasn't listening to him. He would never figure out that Katie wasn't lost or whatever it was he said during his talks. He was too busy trying to be the older brother she already had. For all his claims he was there for her, he didn't listen very well. He had the talking down all right. He would give advice whether she wanted it or not. But when Katie wanted James to listen, he just didn't get it. He was busy writing a life manual for Katie with her name all over it.

_All my life_  
_I've tried_  
_To make everybody happy while I_  
_Just hurt_  
_And hide_  
_Waitin' for someone to tell me it's my turn_  
_To decide_

All her life so far, Katie had tried to make Kendall happy by putting up with James while she just hid how she really felt. She waited for the day when Kendall realized that James talked too much and told him to shut up for once. She kept waiting for the day when someone told her it was her turn to talk. So far it hadn't come. But Katie could be very patient when she wanted to be, so she kept quiet and waited as best as she could.

_Who cares if you disagree  
You are not me  
Who made you king of anything  
So you dare tell me who to be  
Who died  
And made you king of anything  
_

That one day finally came. She finally snapped one day while they were visiting Minnesota. Katie finally told James she didn't care if he agreed or not. She told him he wasn't her and he most certainly wasn't the king of her. So he dared to try and tell her how to live her life? No way no how. No one had made him king. No one, not even James Diamond could tell Katie Knight how to live. It only got sweeter when Kendall told James that family came before friends and if James didn't stop bossing Katie around, bad things would happen. Katie was proud of her big brother that day.

**_I'm not really sure this is what their relationship is really like. I really wanted to get this chapter up so here it is. Hope you like it._**


	12. Big Time Letter L-Love Me Like That

**_The song is Love Me Like That by Kira Isabella and the relationship is Mr. and Mrs. Knight._**

_Sitting on my driveway you and me__  
__Spinning my hair around my finger and wondering what you're thinking about?__  
__You pull a daisy from the ground and you tear off every petal,__  
__With each one you tell me why you like me and I'm special__  
__As they're falling down._

Mrs. Knight sometimes liked to sit and think about her husband. Her favorite memories were the times they had spent just hanging out in her front yard. Her all time favorite memory was a warm sunny day they had spent sitting in her driveway. He had picked a bunch of daisies that were growing around the yard and given them to her. She had wondered what he was planning when he had told her one reason he liked her as he pulled off all the petals.

_I hold on to every word you say to me  
You know how to make this girl go crazy!  
I think you're reading my mind!  
_

Mrs. Knight still remembered every word. Mr. Knight had known how to make her go crazy, but always seemed to read her mind. If she was sad, he would plan a picnic on the beach for her. In winter he would plan the picnic in front of the stone fireplace in his living room. If Jennifer was feeling bad about herself, Jason would write her a note telling her everything that was good about her. Jennifer held onto every note he had sent to her.

_You give me real soft kisses, walk me to the door,__  
__Whisper how amazing this is and tell me I am beautiful!__  
__Hold me just a little tighter when they're playing our song,_

After every day they had spent together, Jason would walk her to the door and give her a soft kiss. Sometimes it was on the lips and other times it was on the cheek. But it was always a soft kiss that made her smile. He would usually include a whisper about how amazing the day had been and how beautiful she looked that day. They had decided that they would have a song on their second date. It was a song that had been playing on the radio the first school dance they had gone to together. Whenever their song came on, Jason would hold her close. If they were already in each other's arms, he would hold her tighter.

_Make me smile when my night has gone wrong,  
And give me your hand to hold!  
We're falling so fast.  
When you love me like that  
_

Jennifer and Jason had started dating just before her parents started fighting. They split up not long after that. If Jenn called to say her parents were fighting and it was ruining her night, he would come over just to make her smile and let her hold his had until she felt better. She had always said they would fall for each other really fast if he kept loving her like that. He didn't stop and they ended up getting married right after college. Everyone agreed it was a match made in heaven and they had never seen anyone more in love.

_You call just to tell me that you're missin' me__  
__And we end up talking up all night long__  
__Cause we've got a lot to say,_

Jason would often call Jenn just to say hi and tell her she was being missed. Almost every time they did that, they would talk all night about anything and everything. Some nights he came over after dark and knocked on her window. They would sit out on the roof and talk. They never ran out of things to say, even when they talked every night for two weeks straight. They always had a lot to say.

_When we hang out at the game on Friday night,  
I love how your blue eyes they're glued on mine,  
Instead of watching them play!  
Maybe all this is stuff you don't realize,  
But you're making me feel those butterflies!  
_

Jenn had gone to many football games on Friday nights with Jason. She loved how instead of watching the game, most times his blue eyes would watch her and how she always asked questions about what was happening on the field. It was something he never realized even after being told thousands of times, but Jennifer always got butterflies when she looked over and saw his eyes locked on her face instead of the game. To this day, Jenn still couldn't go to a football game without thinking of those times. It made her miss her husband too much.

Yeah, you talked me into sneaking out,  
Throwing pebbles at my windows pane,  
If I would only jump then  
You'd take me running through the pouring rain  
And tell me I'm beautiful!

Jennifer had always been the good little girl. Jason wasn't really a bad boy, but he didn't always follow his parent's rules. He always broke the rules about sneaking out after dark or when he was grounded. But he was so charming, Jenn couldn't say no when he talked her into sneaking out to have a moon lit picnic in her front yard. On nights when it was pouring rain, he would take her to the beach or the park and run in the rain with her. He always said it was his favorite memory of her; running through the rain and telling her she was beautiful, even when she was soaking wet. One rainy day, he came over and took her out to their favorite spot to be alone. Suddenly, he dropped to one knee and asked her to marry him. Of course, she had to say yes.

_You give me real soft kisses,  
Whisper how amazing this is and tell me I am beautiful!  
Hold me just a little tighter when they're playing our song,  
Make me smile when my night has gone wrong,  
And give me your hand to hold!  
We're falling so fast.  
When you love me like that  
_

Some people said Jason and Jennifer's relationship was moving too fast. Some said it wouldn't last because they started dating in high school. But Jason and Jenn wanted to prove them wrong. So they took it as slow as possible. They only kissed on the lips once in a while, and they were always soft kisses that didn't last very long. He would always tell her she was beautiful, no matter what she was wearing. They danced to their song and held each other tight. He treated her like a queen, and she treated him like a prince. They would always make each other smile when their night had gone wrong and hold hands. It was a perfect love that lasted well beyond high school.

_You give me real soft kisses, walk me to the door  
And tell me I am beautiful_

Jennifer would always miss her husband. She was glad that Kendall had lived through the car crash that had claimed her husband though. Looking at Kendall was like looking at her husband at that age. Jenn was also glad that Kendall was like his dad. Kendall would always tell his mom she was beautiful and would walk her to the door if she went out on a date. Jenn would hold her husband in her heart forever, but she was glad she had two children who were growing up to be just like their dad.


	13. Big Time Letter M-My Immortal

**_The song is My Immortal by Evanessence and the relationship is Kendall and his dad. I know it's a love song but I thought it could still work for this relationship._**

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone  
_

Kendall missed his dad. He really did. But some days Kendall was tired of living with the fears that came with seeing his dad die in the car crash. His presence still lingered around the house his mom couldn't bear to sell. The car was sold right after of course, but the house stayed. Kendall wished it didn't. It made him feel like his dad hadn't left them for good. It wouldn't leave him alone.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
_

The wounds wouldn't heal. Kendall hid it very well, but he constantly felt bad for being the one on insisting that his dad drive him to hockey that day. The only reason he didn't quit hockey was because it made him feel closer to his dad. They both played hockey and it was their greatest bond. The pain of that was so real that at first, Kendall almost didn't go back to playing hockey. His friends convinced him though, and it seemed to help most days.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

Mr. Knight had been the one to wipe away Kendall's tears and hold him when he was scared. Mr. Knight had held Kendall's hand through the years. He was the best dad there ever was, and because of that, he would always be with Kendall. Kendall would always have a place in his heart just for his dad. He wanted his mom to be happy of course, but no one could replace his dad.

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me  
_

Kendall had almost decided to end it all. He was lying in the hospital bed thinking about how it was his fault his dad had died. Fortunately, he had amazing best friends. Best friends who had convinced him that he was forced to live because of the life his dad had left behind. The life that was Kendall's. Kendall still had nightmares though. His dad haunted his dreams. And times when he least expected it, his dad's voice came out of nowhere. It felt like his dad's voice drove all the sanity out of Kendall. Sometimes he had pleasant dreams about his dad though. And sometimes when he heard his dad's voice, Kendall didn't feel like he was going insane.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
_

It took years for the physical scars from the accident to fade. It took longer for the emotional ones to heal. Some of them never seemed to heal. On the anniversary of the death, the pain was too real and time couldn't erase that. Being in Hollywood singing with his best friends couldn't change that. It seemed to help sometimes. But time just couldn't erase that fact.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along

There was some days Kendall told himself his dad really was gone. It happened more right after the accident had happened. As much as he tried to convince himself, he just couldn't believe his dad was really gone. It felt so much like his dad was still there with him. But then Kendall would wake up and realize he was alone. He would realize he had been alone the whole time. All those dreams about his dad coming home were just dreams.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me_

Some days Kendall missed having a dad around to wipe away the tears. When he had nightmares about the car crash, it helped to have a mom who could help fight away the fears. And it was nice that his mom could hold his hand when he needed. But his dad still held the number one spot. His dad had always been the one to do that before and his dad would always be the first person Kendall would want to call for. But Kendall had long ago decided that since he couldn't have his dad, his mom was a very good person to run to in times of trouble.


	14. Big Time Letter N-Never Gonna Be Alone

**_The song is Never Gonna Be Alone by Nickelback and the relationship is Katie, Kendall, and Mrs. Knight._**

_Time, is going by, so much faster than I,  
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.  
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,  
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.  
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...  
_

The Knight family was very close. Mrs. Knight knew that. But lately it seemed like time was going by much faster than she had realized. She was starting to regret that she didn't have much time with her kids anymore. She knew it was part of them growing up, but it didn't make it any easier. There were some things she had kept bottled inside after her husband died, and that was part of where her regret was coming from. There was so much she wanted to tell her kids. So she had decided to let them know what she needed to say.

_You're never gonna be alone  
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,  
I won't let you fall...  
You're never gonna be alone  
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.  
_

Jennifer wanted her kids to know that although they might not need her as much, they would never be alone. They could call her at any time and she would be there. She would never let them fall if they couldn't hold on. She would still hold them until the hurt went away if they wanted. She just wanted her kids to know that they would never be alone in life as long as she was alive and had anything to say about it.

_And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,  
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,  
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...  
_

Jennifer was going to hold on with both hands for as long as she could. It would be hard with Katie, but Kendall didn't seem to mind as much. Mrs. Knight believed that she couldn't need anything more in her life as long as she had her kids. Well, maybe she would need a husband or at least someone to keep her company when her children left. But for right now, all she needed was her kids. And she was going to let them know that.

_You're never gonna be alone  
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,  
I won't let you fall.  
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.  
We're gonna see the world out,  
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.  
_

Kendall was glad that his mom would never let him be alone in life. He was determined that he would always help his mom. If she felt like falling, Kendall planned to be there. Katie knew her mom still cried herself to sleep sometimes at night. Her mom still felt like all hope was gone sometimes. But Katie knew her mom could carry on and was determined to show her mom that. Of course, most of those plans involved Kendall, but he was glad to help out. The three of them were determined to see the world together. Both Knight children would gladly hold their mom when she was hurting. After all, she did the same for them for many years. So why couldn't they do the same for her?

_You've gotta live every single day,  
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?  
Don't let it slip away,  
Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.  
Every single day,  
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?  
Tomorrow never comes...  
_

The three Knights had decided together that they needed to live every single day they had together like it was the only one they had left. They felt like it was the best way to honor Mr. Knight. He had lived like that, so they would too. They wouldn't let a single day slip away because it could be their only one. Their time had only just begun. So what if tomorrow never came? They would live like it never would.

_Time, is going by, so much faster than I,  
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.  
_

Now that Kendall was almost an adult and Katie was a teenager, time seemed like it was going by so much faster. All three were beginning to regret not telling their family how they felt.

_You're never gonna be alone  
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,  
I won't let you fall.  
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.  
We're gonna see the world out,  
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.  
_

Jennifer wanted her kids to know they were never going to be alone. Katie wanted her mom and brother to know she would never let them fall. Kendall wanted his mom and sister to know that he knew they could carry on when it felt like all hope was gone. They each wanted the other two to know that they would see the world out together. That someone would be there to hold them until the hurt was gone. And that's why the Knight family is so close.

_I'm gonna be there always,  
I won't be missing one more day,  
I'm gonna be there always,  
I won't be missing one more day._

Kendall and Katie were always going to be there for their mom. They had realized they didn't want their mom to be alone. So they wouldn't be missing another chance to spend time with their favorite mom. Mrs. Knight wanted her kids to realize she would always be there. She wasn't going to be missing a single day with them. They would be a family forever. Nothing but death could separate them.


	15. Big Time Letter O-On My Way Here

**_The song is On My Way Here by Clay Aiken. It doesn't really have a set relationship, it's kind of James looking at some of the different relationships in his life. I guess it could be a James/Kendall/Logan/Carlos relationship if you wanted it to be. Hope you like it._**

_I took my first step  
On that black and white kitchen floor  
I sometimes wonder if that house  
Is even there, anymore_

James still thought about that first house he had lived in with his parents. Both his parents, that is. He was told he had taken his first steps on the black and white kitchen floor there. He had moved out with his mom though, and he had never seen it again. He wondered if it was still there or if it had been destroyed.

_I had my first glimpse of love  
When I was five  
I watched two people split apart  
But still the three of us survived  
_

James could remember seeing his parents in love. He was five and had watched his parents dance around laughing in the kitchen when he should have been sleeping. His mom had laughed and kissed his cheek as she picked him up. His dad had hugged the two of them in a sandwich and spun them around. The next memory was of them fighting just before they split up. Still, all three of them had survived. Some bruised egos and hurt feelings had come, but everyone was still alive and doing well.

_I've seen the best  
I've seen the worst  
I wouldn't change what I've been through  
_

James had seen the best and the worst of love, but despite complaining about it all the time, he wouldn't change what he had been through. No, he would leave it just the way it was. It made him the person he was today. After all, if it wasn't for his parents fighting, he wouldn't be friends with Kendall and Carlos.

_I've touched the sky__  
__I've hit the wall__  
__But I did what I had to_James had touched the sky when his dad came to a hockey game. He hit the wall when his parents tried to drag him into their divorce. But he did what he had to do to get through it. He threw himself into his hockey. He practiced singing every day. He escaped to his friend's houses when the fighting was really bad. Most of all, he had survived and grown stronger because of it.

_On my way here  
Where I am now  
I've learned to fly  
I have to want to leave the ground_

_I've fallen hard  
But I've been loved  
And in the end it all works out  
My faith has conquered fear  
On my way here._

James had learned how to fly through life. It had taken a while because he didn't want to learn how to fly at first. But he had done it and that was how he had ended up right here, where he was now. He was glad for his friends, who had helped him get to where he was. There had been times he had fallen hard in life. He had started falling when Gustavo had first told him he had no talent. Because he was loved by Kendall, he had managed to work it out. His faith in himself had helped, but Kendall's faith in James had helped more to conquer the fears of becoming a star.

_My address has changed  
Almost every year  
I've found that standing still  
Can quickly make a lifetime disappear_

James had moved once or twice in his life. To a kid who didn't want to move, it felt like he had moved around a lot. But in the end, he had realized that staying in one place for too long was boring. James thought that his whole lifetime could disappear if he didn't get out and make things happen.

_I'd rather try and fail  
A thousand times denied  
And this, whenever you feel pain  
It lets you know that you're alive  
_

James would rather try and fail than never try at all. Of course, most of the time he only wanted to try if his best friends were there. It still hurt if he failed, but with his friends there it didn't hurt nearly as much. Sometimes he was glad for the pain of failure, because at least it meant that he was alive and his parent's divorce hadn't killed him.

_I've been a fool  
I've been afraid  
Yeah, I've been loved  
I've been lied to_

James wouldn't willingly admit he had been a fool or afraid. But put under the right pressure, he would say that there was a time or two in his life he had stage fright or had done something stupid. He had become who he was today though, because of those times. His family and friends had helped him as well. They had helped him by loving him, lying to him, and telling him the truth at the times he needed it most.

_I've been wrong  
And I've been right  
I stood up when I had to  
_

There were times that James had been right and times when he had been wrong. Times he had to stand up for friends or beliefs and times when he had to back off to let others fight their own battles. He made mistakes about those times once in a while, but he had come out of them a better person. He had learned from those mistakes and became a better person._No guarantees__  
__I believed that I would find__  
__An open door or a light__  
__To lead me to the other side__  
__I guess that is why__  
_

One thing James had learned in life that he would share with people was that life had no guarantees. Life was not a for sure thing. People had to believe that they would find the doorway or a light leading to where they should go. James truly believed that. He had found his own light in his friends, which had lead him to the other side. The other side of what, he didn't know. James only knew it was where he was supposed to be; singing in Hollywood with his three best friends. He guessed that was why it always felt so right.

_On my way here  
Where I am now  
I've learned to fly  
I have to want to leave the ground  
I've fallen hard  
But I've been loved  
And in the end it all works out  
My faith has conquered fear  
On my way here._

On his way to where he was now, James had learned how to fly because of his friends, his family, and his experiences. He had to want to leave the ground to fly there, but he had done it. James had fallen hard in life, like when his parents had split up. But his friends were there to love him and it had worked out in the end. His friends and a lot of faith in himself and conquered fear and lead him to where he was now; having the best time of his life living his dreams in Hollywood.


End file.
